90 Day Rule

Every time a new suitor comes into my life, my mother always mentions the “90 Day Rule”: The widely accepted waiting period women are supposed to be chaste before sleeping with a gentleman caller. This has been a “thing” for years, with increased traction since overnight relationship expert Steve Harvey made it a staple in his book, Think Like A Woman, Act Like A Man.” I have never held to this rule, and it’s definitely not something I will share with my daughter, nor a value I think my son should adopt. I call bullshit on this rule and toss it to the wind. A person’s value does not depreciate just because they shared their body with another person before 90 days of trying to establish a relationship with them (ESPECIALLY since the rule is only expected of women). If you think that waiting 90 days will help a man respect you more than if you were to fornicate on day 1, I hope he does not know of these intentions. If a guy really wants to have sex with a woman, he will do whatever it takes to make that happen as quickly as possible; sometimes it could be as simple as making her laugh, other times it might be as complex as wining and dining over a period of time. The males in my life bestowed some knowledge upon me: If a man really likes a woman and truly wishes to pursue a relationship with her, it does not matter when she gives up the cookie, they just happy that they got it. I’ve always said you got to test drive the car before you buy it. This goes for all major changes in your life; if you’re in the market for a new car, you wouldn’t buy one before finding out what’s under the hood. You have to take charge of your situations and open that line of communication and intent up from the beginning. If you are looking for a long-lasting relationship, communication is key. All intentions and ideas should be communicated from start to finish. If you want to wait 90 days because that’s where your morals lie, okay. But if you want to wait 90 days because others tell you that if you don’t, you no longer respect yourself, that’s bull. Sex isn’t going to guarantee or erase any significant advancement in an relationship, nor depreciate your value. Rely on your true feeling and make your intentions clear. Having that honest relationship with yourself and your lover is the only goal you should aim for when entering a new relationship. Sexual freedom is about truly doing what makes you feel safe and comfortable in the world of erotica and intercourse, so don’t depend on the approval of others to get down with the get down.

Speak.

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